Friday, December 31, 2004

with the year coming to an end.in like.less than 2 hrs time.i guess its time for a recap.

the year started off with me having to retain.but it was a great year none the less.was posted to 1T24 great bunch of people.we had fun everyday after school.1st 3 mths also signalled the start of preparation for tournament season.then there was the malacca trip.hehs.it was great fun.sharing the ride with reuben.sharing a room with philene.sharing the apartment along with selina and yantong.then.the 2nd intake arrived.1T25.we totally rock.all of you guys.and our girls.hah.we had fun playing retarded games during break while the guys looked on in horror.and of course the back row.haha.i loved it so much.yes.and to my partner.shanna.though we always seng chao.we both managed to make it on to j2.queen of hockey.we share our cca problems.tournament season came.we won.we lost.we mostly lost.but still friendships fostered.it was an amazing experience.after that.started hanging out with andrew kaden sumei jiale leonard karen joanna to study for mid years or whats not.those were great times too.i finally got CCC for mid years.haha it felt good.after failing the year before.then came the new basketball team.1st impressions are always so wrong.but then.i met my friends for life.debb ner joyceh debra and of course as time passed.eryan kristin daisy grace angel but of course selina kj jasmine were already always there (: made friends with the guys' team too.great bunch of guys.great potential.the days passed by.a blur.soon it was time for promos.heh.i confess.i slacked.din really study la.but managed a CDD.well it sucks.i cant slack next year.i had a great bdae this year.thanks to everyone.i love all of you so much.first time.i got so many presents.first time i had 2 cakes for my birthday.you guys are DA best (: then more training.haha.for next year.made the team grow even closer.more joined us in the quest for victory.thru unhappiness and arguements.we bonded.i love you all.i have no idea what i would do without teammates like all of you (: then.to end off the great year.well it wasnt all that peaches strawberries and cream.but it was.special.it was.all the pain.all the joy.and to round it off.i made a great bunch of friends.the acjc basketball girls well i dont know all of them.but tzesiew christine ashley minhua though u all might not be reading this but.you all are a great bunch of girls.it was fun playing basketball with all of you.but tzesiew hehs.must thank you for giving me a chance to know ***** haha.its prob some stupid fancy.but none the less thanks.hah (: and of course.philene though we are in different years.you were still always here for me.thanks loads.love ya babey.joyceh.always there for me.for better or for worse.though sometimes we dont see eye to eye.in the end.you are still always there for me.debb.your heart of gold.saw me through the times when i was unhappy.ner ner nerriitaaa.hehe.always smiling and cheerful.and not afraid to stand up for your friends.andrew drewwee.your eeyore means all the world to me.and thanks for always being there.crapping buddy.drinking buddy.kaden.ouxiang.haha sorry your fanclub president hasnt made you a banner.a pink one to boot.continue to be as zai as ever.oh yeah and our secret no one knows.its embaressing la.bleah.hehs.for those who i din mention personally.hehs.dont worry i still love all of you. (:

now a new year for me to look ahead.i have loads to expect.tournament season is coming again.and more work.A levels.but i hope for all the best in the year ahead.i hope it will be a great year for me.and for all of you out there.

HAPPY NEW YEAR
hehs.
(:

angela, whom at first look seemed like an intimidating (or xialan) senior, turned out to be one of my closest confidantes and friends.
and of course there are many many other cases but u get the point.
which is, you shouldnt judge a book by its cover.

HAHA JOYCEH HUANG LI TING
I LOVE YOU
-muackss-
hehe.

From the very begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background,& that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy
deeply,but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in &
agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing
his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that
lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She
has lost her voice......

The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.

During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang.
She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....

The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy. With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what
happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.

When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me
have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

-che.if there's actually such a guy out there please tell me.im skeptic

haha im still giddy with joy.whee.***** is damn cuteee.ke ai si le.hehe

today was damn fun.but i woke up at 7am despite sleeping at 4am.went to play ball at nie.with tzesiew and frens (aka a bunch of acjc guys) but its damn fun.and they are damn zai.prob going to play on sunday again.hehe (: lala.damn tired now.its bloody tiring.tired.hehe.but.oh wells.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

omg im giddy with joy.hehs.just shoot me.hes damnn cute la.hehe

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

i just watched this taiwanese educational programme teaching kids english.
here was wad they taught

did you poo in your diaper?
no, i just farted.
dont fart near me.
too late!

omg.wad the hell are they teaching kids nowadays.so retarded la
aniwaes i just discovered i have tuffs of mildly not really visible brown hair.damn.oh well.hope i dont get caught.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

went for physio this morning.it was crap la.its just paying to go to the gym.along those lines.haha.yeap.after that come home and stoned.just watched tv.dyed my hair back to black just now.used garnier.so now it smells tutti frutti.haha.damn nice. (: i still love my black hair-

daddy got this cow handphone holder from office gift exchange.pls la.like how old can.den he gave it to me.its so cute la.i named it moo moo.haha.(: rite.i wanna get a pair of paul frank slippers la.but i do not have 32 buckeroos.i also wan the jay-z and linkin park collision course cd.damn nice la.haix.no money.damn

pink.my fav colour (:
Posted by Hello

my fav la.totally funkae.love ya fleeea`
Posted by Hello

my name.in green.hehs.GREEN. (:
Posted by Hello

Monday, December 27, 2004

hmm shall bloggy about today.sian my mother just told me 70 bucks la my phone bill.sorry guys.only have bread to eat everyday.no more outings to far east for chicken rice.aniwaes.woke up today.wake up call from christine.was supposed to shoot ball with her.tzesiew.and clare.their fren at acjc.but cannot wake up.aniwae so hot can the sun.so i met christine and tzesiew at nydc in holland v.expensive can.not sae super nice to eat also.eat marche also happier.aniwaes.after that me and tzesiew went to town to walk walk.abandoned shopping plans.low on funds.damn.aniwaes.saw this cute guy on the bus who knew we were looking at him.cos he smirked at us.i smirked back.wads da big deal aniwaes.den saw this other guy.not bad in brown shirt too.den we stoned ard.den went to choa chu kang cc to play ball.on the way to somerset mrt.we saw toon.hehs.he no hair le.no hair.haha.he looks better with more hair.den our train terminate at yishun can.sian troublesome.den at yishun i saw 3 guys with my new basketball shoes.damn i thought no one owned them.sian.den i pointed at them when they got off.and they saw me.shit.haha.oh well.den played at choa chu kang cc.with tzesiew.ashley and christine.wah the pjc girls are zai can.how.haha.they are so li hai cans.we have new competitors le. (: wells.the more the merrier.wanna play frenly with acjc soon.looking forward to it (: oh wells thats about it.we were playing in a slight drizzle.now i got a slight headache.oh wells.tml morning got physio early in the morning.sian.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

hehs had tuition this morning den.went to country club after that.wanted to bowl and pool.but then.change of plans.ended up playing golf at the driving range.whee.fun.but totally trashed their dress code la.whee.who cares.after that.went to watch kungfu hustle with my family.its a cool show can.and i got my shoes.the basketball ones i have been hunting around for.DA perfect pair.but sorry guys you wont be seeing it in action soon.dad saes its my new year shoes.bah.the party pooper.so gotta wait till feb.bleah.oh wells but im still happy (:

(:
Posted by Hello

my new basketball shoes.omg.been searching for ages.finally found it.hah.im giddy with joy.
Posted by Hello

if no one knows or understands how i feel.whos to judge my actions and behaviour.but most importantly.

whos to help me-

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Artist: Good Charlotte
Album: The Chronicles of Life and Death
Title: Predictable


Something isn't right
I can feel it again, feel it again
This isn't the first time
That you left me waiting

Sad excuses
And false hopes high
I saw this coming
Still I don't know why I let you in

I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong (Something's always wrong)
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
You're so predictable (So Predictable)

So take your empty words
Your broken promises
And all the time you stole
Cause I am done with this
I could give it away, give it away
I'm doing everything I should've
And now I'm taking a chance
I'm livin' the day
I'm giving back what you gave me
I don't need anything

I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong (Something's always wrong)
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
You're so predictable (So Predictable)

Everywhere I go
Everyone I meet
Every time I try to fall in love
They all wanna know why I'm so broken
Why am I so cold
Why I'm so hard inside
Why am I scared
What am I afraid of
I don't even know
This story never had an end
I've been waiting
I've been searching
I've been hoping
I've been dreaming you would come back
But I know the ending of this story
You're never coming back
Never (Never, Never, Never ...)

I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong (Something's always wrong)
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
You're so predictable (So Predictable)

Everywhere I go for the rest of my life
Everyone I love
Everyone I care about
They're all gonna wanna know what's wrong with me
And I know what it is
I'm ending this right now

despite being.moody and irritated during this period of time.i would just like to wish everyone.

MERRY CHRISTMAS !!! (:
rite.
and a
HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!
rite.
i will go partying on new year's eve.anyone up for it? (:
whee.

chey my dad is a cuckoo la.i am mahjong queen k.i am the queen.i nearly 13 yao la.well i did already den daddy messed it up.den.win many many money.den he help me see.gone le.he thought i was missing this pair.which technically non exsistent cos there were only 3 of us not 4.bah.alot of money can.well technically im still the winner.bah.we shd have gambled.i will be rich that everyone can have pressies.but too bad.you all can blame my daddy (:

yest.xmas eve.was darn boring la.went to have dinner at cousin's house.the food was kinda sucky.and the atmosphere was like dead.the only consolation was probably.perfect 10 countdown, poker, uno, daidee, blackjack.and the awfully chocolate.chocolate banana cake.yumms.came home darn early den ended up playing mahjong with my family.hah.i won like about 11 bucks.but my parents din wan to pay up.damn.today.we had no xmas lunch.due to a turkey screwup.hehs.met eryan.den we got our cookies from jasmine and split up.den i met up with philene.den we went to buy presents for jamie before going to her house.we bought chocolates and.gerberas.super nice.and ex too.wah.but nice (: i love flowers.after that.we went to jamie's house.for her party.slacked around.den my family came den we went to great world for sushi dinner.yum yum.darn full la.ya.wanted to watch kungfu hustle.but urgh.no tix.darn.whee.yeap.maybe going to watch tml.daddy talked to me today.about getting a boyfriend.waddups with that man.siao la.hehs (: well signing off peeps.gonna go for another mahjong round now.hehs. (: i spend every xmas playing mahjong.how.fun.wheee.can you feel my enthusiasm? lala

Artist: Green Day
Album: American Idiot
Title: Boulevard Of Broken Dreams


I walk a lonely road
The only one I that have ever known
Don't know were it goes
But its home and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Were the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
Till then I'll walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And were I walk alone

Read between the lines of what's
Fucked up and every things all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
Till then I'll walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh

I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Were the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a..

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
Till then I'll walk away!

You
I wanna be pushed aside so let me go
Let me take me back my life
I'd rather be all alone
And anywhere on my own, cause I can see
The very worst part of you
The very worst part of you
It's ME!!

Friday, December 24, 2004

right.you really dont have to talk to me anymore.it doesnt matter.cos all you have to know.about me.is not from me.uh.haha.wells.dun know wad the fuck i just said.but it might make sense to some out there.oh wells.have been blabbering.and trying to cover up the stupidness.and recklessness.i dunno.tml.is.xmas.now its eve.waiting for.cadbury to come back from his shower.den i can have a good talk with him.hehs.oh wells.but for now.im bored.

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - Johannesburg zoo plans to artificially inseminate a pair of female birds who appear to be lovers to help boost dwindling numbers of the endangered wattled crane species.
Staff at the zoo assumed Cherry and Amazona were lovers when they arrived earlier this year and charmed visitors with typical mating rituals -- including dancing, serenading one another with song and tossing sticks into the air.

Tests showed the pair were both females, but due to a shortage of male wattled cranes and the species' faithfulness to one partner, the zoo decided to artificially inseminate the birds so they could reproduce.

"They are very, very endangered in South Africa so we have to try to optimise the breeding potential," said Mike Hamon, bird curator at the zoo. "This pair formed a strong bond, and when we realised they were both ladies it seemed artificial insemination was the best option."

Hamon said artificially inseminating the birds was a tricky business and that experts from the United States would come and help.

-this sounds damn gay (or lesbian,whichever you deem appropriate).man the things we do.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

i find joy in solitude i guess.it made me feel a whole lot better about everything.well.xmas is nearing 2 more days.yeap.this xmas is still fucked up.like last year.it will always be.yest had bbq.it was fun i guess.(: yes.cooking is damn fun.haha.yes as usual.cj bball team guys are all pangseh kias.sat at the beach with joyceh until 2.den it was just me debb and leonard.until 4.rite.yeap.shd have went home earlier.aniwae some stupid people just stole like.coke and a water tumbler.you cheapos.go and die.rite.now that reminds me of how yucheng koped the basketball.haha.but it was a mistake.so not that bad.weeeells.yeah that was about it.reached home at.445am took a shower den i went to sleep.woke up at 245 today.den met andrew in town.and went to return brock his things.den bought dinner and came home.well.was happy i guess? i dunno.not really happy nowadays.so screwed.up.so much for the festive season.well.tml got dinner.but all i wan is just to wonder around in town.with friends even better.but.thats never gonna happen.so prob will pop down to town alone tml nite after dinner.rite.and take some photos.so much for being loved.oh well.fuck

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

well funniest incident of the century just occured.sure we have all heard about getting locked out of our houses.but have u ever heard anione getting locked out of their rooms.joyceh huang.just got locked out of her own room.due to unforseen circumstances.but just got saved.by the timely arrival of her mother.she's gonna be famous (:

haha.today the guys were fantastic la.they were all superbly zai. (: 60-45.so proud of all of them can.tml is the bbq.we have a pit but no food.whee.i realise all the time i have to go and pick up after people.wadeva mess they leave behind i just have to go and finish it.or correct it.and my whole life.is just spent waiting for people to tell me their decisions.or the lack of it.cos they cant decide.oh well.truth be it.im sick of it.but used to it.so.another one more or two more wont matter anymore.im resigned to fate.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

haha just woke up.sian.came home at 730 this morning.haha.kbox is damn fun.in the middle of the nite la. (: lala.dens.rite.i met fiona and joyceh at cine.den.we went to cartel for dinner.koped joyceh's food.haha.den after that we went to play pool (: after which at 12.we went to kbox.rite.until 5 am.den we went to fiona's house.they had penang laksa.i only wanted to sleep.haha.left fiona's house at likeee.715.yeap.damn tired la.den came home and sleep.going out later the guys having friendly with acjc. (:

Monday, December 20, 2004

well today had training.and 1/2 of it i spent puking into the drain.like.emptying my body.like u know.water.stomach acid.and whats not.lucky i din eat anithing.well i also remember the time i had watermelon juice BEFORE training.please dont try that.hah.oh wells.i can foresee.another 4 mths of puking into the drain next year.it happens all the time.whee.im dying.lala.going kbox later.not coming home until tml.cheerios.bye (:

we used to go for coffee and we used to go to talk,
remember times we use to share and soon they'll all be gone.
sunny days and summertime won't be the same again,
you've gone away, not fade away
there's no telling when...

fuck off, bugger, my shit in the toilet bowl shows more sympathy for me than you do

haha i got this off joyceh's blog.who got it from her brother's blog.but its so true.and i like it.so joyceh if u dun mind.PLEASE! haha (:

am miserable.hope im granted death.whee (:

todayy.went out with joyceh and fiona.haha good to see her again.its a joy going out with them (: lala.we went to watch without a paddle.haha.its quite dumb lars.but oh wells.retarded.-im butterfly,im flower.wads your earth name.-hehs. (: after that we went pastamania to eat lars.haha.den we walked around.den went to j8 to slack.talked.loads.haha.it was damn fun.and joyceh's shirt is cute la.tml we are going out.again.prob tonning.i have no joy in going home only to get pissed every night.i dun even know what the fuck for.oh ya.saw debb and yangming too while buying the movie tix.they were buying popcorn.yes.tml is prob kbox nite.right.time to think of some fucked up excuse.to escape.i dunno.i feel so fake.it feels so fake.having to try to keep up with the facade.even i think my smile feels fake.i feel fake.im empty.and outside's just totally fake.now i totally cant be bothered.i dont even wanna give 2 hoots.its just out of responsibility.after that.forget it.oh wells.kbox mite be cancelled tml.i dont really care.i just dunwan to face anione.i just dunwan to be at home.looking at this fucking screen.and feeling.bitter.and empty.rite.i cant be bitter and empty at the same time.feeling.i dunno.its just a mixture.of.unhappy feelings and thoughts.am thankful to reuben for cheering me up.a teeny weeny bit. (: but still he's such a sweetie (: oh wells.just got home gotta shower.and sleep.i got training tml morning 7.30am.fuck.maybe i shd just quit.i suck at basketball.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

this morning.went to the grandstand.my mind was blank.but i woke up to his sms.never felt so happy in my whole life.i dunno.im screwed.my life is.arent humans just creatures consumed by emotions and feelings?haha.im currently consumed.by wad.i dunno? jealousy.annoyance? oh well nothing will change.it will always be this way.its gonna be this way.maybe i think too much.yes maybe philene is right.i feel threatened.but i cant help it.cos its always going no where.cos i know.thats not the real you.i dunno you anyway.never did.never will.went to play ball with debb leonard chingyu michael eryan and angel in school this morning.glad debb was happy how it turned out.went to have lunch with leonard.came home.and read comics.was highly annoyed.in a turn of events.went out for dinneeerr.and now here i am at home.waiting for his next sms. (: he makes my day.happy.always. (:

im so darn happy we are talking again.makes me feel so happy.really want to hear his voice soon. (: oh wells now everything feels right again.almost.im stupid.cant you tell.fuck.oh wells.fuck it.i hope i get to talk to him later.i hope he will make my world right again.hes such a sweeeetie as always (:

rite.just finished surfing net.and blogs.and photo galleries.of random people.distant aquaintances.i have no fucking idea wad the fuck im doing.im supposed to be in bed now.right.supposed is relative.i see.especially when im supposed to be in sch at 9.to play ball with the guys.and gal(s).rite.yeap.supposed to be in sch at 8.to ponder over recent events that have taken place.again.lemme emphasise.am going to play ball with guys.and gal(s).and boy who always takes joy in fucking annoying me.its his honour.fuck.

Friday, December 17, 2004

things will be the same
you're gone and i'm here to stay
i'm going away
my feelings will not change
friends forever, give or take

i miss your voice.
i miss how you would listen to all i had to say.
i miss how you would always be there for me.
i miss how you would always make things right.
i miss how you would always make sure i was alright.
i miss you
i miss you loads
i really do

today.wanted to go to school to shoot ball.but i din.hehs.too hot outside.met michael at 4.30 went to east coast to book the DAMNED pit.god damn it.rite.lucky we went today.there were only 2 left.lucky one near macs.we had dinner at macs.den met up with selina and joyceh.hey thanks for coming all the way.i love you both (: had a nice long chat and all.came home.tml going to sch to play ball.hope its gonna be fun

You stand there lookin at me and (at me)
I stand here lookin at you girl (at you boy)
I don't know, what it is, but I just wanna get to know ya

i AM bitter
all it took was a simple question
by him
that was all it took
im such a loser
how could i say that.
right
no one should be my friend.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

just came home.went out with mum and brother just now.we went to watch.christmas with the kranks.its a nice show.heartwarming that is.oh well.im bored.yes.very.sucks.tml should be going to play ball.with my batch.who wans to come along? (:

non-steriodal anti-inflammatory drug
diclofenac sodium - voltaren, difnal

uses-
relieves pain and reduces inflammation
used to treat most atheletic injuries

side effects-
stomach upset
nausea, vomiting, bloating, gas, diarrhoea, dizziness, drowsiness, blurred vision, loss of appetite

precautions-
alcohol intake intensifies the drowsiness effect of medication
may cause stomach bleeding
increase skin's sensitivity to sunlight
overdosage when taken with aspirin

right this explains why i dont feel well.and dont feel like eating.my medicine causes me to die.oh well.i have taken the steriod types before too.stupid injuries

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

hah.today met leonard kaden eric and debb for lunch it was fun.andrew and ner.are totally scandalous.rite.i think i cant spell that either.after that.we hung out and talked.crapped.fun.den went to meet the girls.den we went for our frenly match.to cut things short.we lost.29 - 19.i screwed up.majorly.missing so many fucking shots.and i only nailed.1.1 pathetic shot.i suck.today.i was damn tired.thats all i can say.rite.den i got pissed.long story.it just pisses me off.the guys opponents din turn up.hah.in the end they played 5 on 5.super nice to watch la.heh.kaden and eric were great la.well so was leonard.their team is all star la.chingyu leonard kaden andrew and jackie.chingyu said.who's jackie ah.haha.xialan.yucheng stole an OFS ball.haha.cheapskate.but its by mistake.we went to eat dinner.me yucheng dog chingyu debb ner grace andrew kaden and leonard.at BK.after that i came home.its daddy's bdae today.

aniwae my painkillers give me a stomach upset.boohoo.im just pissed.fuck.

im such a fool for you
i miss you even more
i cant take it
i hate you
but i love you
i cant stop thinking of you
dont know what to do
im stuck on you

lala and oh ya i played 1 on 1 with eryan i won.hehs.3-2.close fight.tired la.and in the dark.hehs.today was okae la.had training.damn tired thats all.lala.sian.nothing to sae.den after that went to queensway with chingyu yucheng eric leonard and kaden.to get the guys jerseys la.had some problems.but okae le.okae le.haha.den i have a bag of jerseys in my room.tml gotta bring.lala.tml got match.everyone like injured and sick la.sian.my knee hurts now.worse den ever.never so pain before.hah.im dying.so do my lungs windpipes.kidneys.wadeva.better of dead.haha.rite.meeting for lunch at 1 better sleep or i cant get up.tired.

i dunno wad im feeling.
but i sense jealousy.
how did this happen.
how can it happen.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

din ton in the end.change of plans.went to thomson cc to play basketball.with joyceh and eryan from like 10.00-11.45 pm.haha siao rite?den after that me and eryan went prata house for supper.darn full now la.we saw hong huifang.and son.HANDSOME son that is.me and eryan both agree haven seen such a cute guy in ages.ah.lucky we went for supper.hehs.oh wells.im home now and tired.think i will have a gd sleep.tired.

Monday, December 13, 2004

right just got home.training this morning.i was late.and so wad almost everyone else.we played against the netballers again.10-7.we won.like finally.hah.oh wells.den we had this kbox thingy on.but it was too ex so in the end we din.den me eryan and joyceh went to watch bridget jones diary.hah.and when we came out.we saw.joyce and boyfriend.totally gross.for info.its the j2 joyce that does morning announcements.yes.lotsa PDA.gross la.den they took the MRT with me and eryan.we kept laughing all the way frm somerset to braddel.rite.i dunno how to spell braddel.when eryan got off.she laughed and mouthed.gd luck.haha.sibei guai lan.haha.heck.yeap.den they got off at bishan too la.yuck.eww.while waiting for bus saw.peisiang and gf.she's pretty.haha.yeap.came home to rest la.maybe going to ton tonight.at east coast.get some drinks.talk the nite away.something along that line.hehs (: yeap.now all we need is kj's phone call.hah

me and joyceh officially got together
on 13 dec 2004
at 1.45am
hah.
i am les
guys just cause hurt.
i have no idea why.

my tummmy hurts.
so much for drinking
):
i miss you.

well went out with jan today.whee.i miss jan.and her hair.totally inspired.she's the rocker babe la.we played pool.after that met drew and ner.we had fun.(: drinking that is.and teasing drew.hah.

i love drew.he's always here for the better or for the worst.in the flesh.and spirit.my drinking buddy (: weee rocks (:
yeap.i went drinking
to forget
my depression.
im depressed
and resigned to fate
and fact
that im such a
LOSER.
yeap.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

it doesnt help.u behave this way.it really doesnt.and it just makes me feel worse.thats all.thanks alot.you always manage to do it.

i dunno how to talk to you.really.maybe we shouldnt even be friends.right.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

*i feel so broken up
*and i give up
*and something's breaking up
*i feel like giving up
*i just want to tell you so you know
*here i go
*scream my lungs out and try to get to you
*i let go
*there's just no one that gets me like you do
*there's just no one, no one like you
*you are my only one
*you are my only, my only one

---i dont want a lot\
---i just want to see you baby\
---i just want you for my own\
---more than you could ever know\
---this is all I'm asking for\
---make my wish come true\

`my baby.belongs to someone else
`my baby.is never mine
`never will be mine

`dreamflash

he: do you like me?
me: -silence-
he: tell me.
me: -silence-
he: TELL ME!
us: -silence-
-i woke up

him: you like me right?
me: -silence-
him: we cannot be together but i can go out with you
-i woke up

aniwaes realised that i have nothing much to sae in my dreams.

after hearing from philene.all i have to say is that.though u are a nice guy and sweet to me at times.this time is way off and across the line.u have gone too far buster.and u are to me.a class A bastard.even leonard cant reach that standard.well oops.but could only think of comparing with leonard wad.aniwaes.rite.today i went out.las.met ner ner and drew drew.haha.yes.den saw joyceh.miss you la.and saw michelle.she's a nice girl.and she called ner's dimples.dimple 1 and 2 hah.rite.that was funny la.den after that wanted to go drinking den it started raining ): haix.den had to go home la.there was the braces escapade.was fooling around with joyceh and cap.den the cap got stuck in her braces.damn funny.there was an immediate truce.cos it was TOOOOO funny.i swear.hahah.but it was fun.and i went home with drewwee.thats about it.was bored stiff today la.but everyone not free to go out with me.den everyone wants to go out with me tml.haha.exciting rite? not.i dunno im sinking into depression.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Artist: Mariah Carey
Album: Merry Christmas
Title: All I Want For Christmas Is You


I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas
Is you...

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you...
You baby

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
You...

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need -
won't you please bring my baby to me...

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
You...

All I want for Christmas is you baby...

guys should grow more sense.and sensitivity.in general.but some guys are fine the way they are.

life really sucks doesnt it.it does.i know to me it does.when u wanna let go.you cant.cos.i dunno.something doesnt wanna let u.wadda fuck.yeap.sentiments exactly.i dunno wad the hell im typing also.just hoping that i will better i know i wun.i never will wont i.i got such sweet frens.really i do.but for one.i just like to be sad alone.i dont feel comfortable about people fussing over me.well it does feel nice.but its not always forever.so shouldnt.get used to it.people think they understand u well.when they dont.esp guys.they never understand do they.but they think they do.its hard to talk to them.the only one i have really told everything is.drew.thanks for always being there.you're such a sweetie.a certain someone is in really good hands i must sae (: hehs.weeeeell.i dunno some people are just blessed.they really ah.but im not one of those some people.i never will be.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

hey im finally back.dunno wad to update.forgot everything la.only knew the sights were wonderful.and china's history is really interesting.esp fengshui.hah.yeap.could be a course of study in the future.although i really wanna update in detail.i really forgot everything but.haha when i upload the photos u can see.so den a picture paints a thousand words (: china.has a rich history.and most of it is in beijing.fantastic. (: aniwaes.today.met debby.i miss debbs.and ner.den we had lunch.macs.i miss macs.after that.we stoned ard.walked.den met andrew and brock.gave them their shirts la.saw the guys team jersey.GAY la.haha.hehs.its even more gay den last year's girls' team converse jersey.now u can imagine.how gay it is.super.yeap.after that.kenneth.told debb that andy lau.in town.den we all went to j8.me debb and ner.hah.den leonard.came after that we went to town.scotts for dinner.yeap.after that we went to play pool la.ya.den went home yeap.i dunno but life sucks.