Monday, October 30, 2006

im having ESL 408 lesson now in Rm 5.37
ESL lessons are a waste of time la.
(:

we went to santhya's house to have deepavali lunch yesterday.
watched deathnote yesterday with debbs, johan, santhya, priyanka and longman.
the show is damn good la.
after that i went to play ball.
(((:

anyways bff is right next to me now and she says hi.

i have nothing else to say.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

call me insane.
yeah i know.

i fucking had beer before basketball.
and during basketball.
madness.
oh well.
your only young once.

thanks for the present (:

i cough so much i can develop abs la.
fucking cough non-stop.
i have TB its in the final stage.
say your prayers suckers and remember to attend my funeral.

why do you have to be so indifferent.
sigh.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

this is the most honest and truthful piece of writing i have ever seen a long while.
thank you lydia for letting me use it.
cos while you see yourself in that poem,
so do i.

'Masks'

Don't be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a thousand masks, And none of them are me.
Don't be fooled, for goodness sake, don't be fooled.

I give you the impression that I'm secure, that confidence is my name and coolness is my game, And that I need no one.
But don't believe me.

Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in aloneness, in fear. That's why I create a mask to hide behind, to shield me from the glance that knows,
But such a glance is precisely my salvation.

That is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love. It's the only thing that can liberate me from my own self-built prison walls.
I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing and that I'm just no good, And that you will reject me.

And so begins the parade of masks. I idly chatter to you. I tell you everything that's really nothing and
Nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me.

Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying. I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous, and me.
But you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand.

Each time you're kind and gentle, and encouraging, Each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, feeble wings, but wings.

With your sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding,
You alone can release me from my shallow world of uncertainty.

It will not be easy for you. The nearer you approach me, The blinder I may strike back.
But I'm told that Love is stronger than strong walls, And in this lies my only hope.

Please try to beat down these wall with firm hands,
But gentle hands, for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you wonder. I am every women you meet, and also every woman that you meet,
And I am you, also.

-Unknown-

just for once i would like to know,
how you feel.

why cant i seem to see past your facade?
maybe we are alike,
but why do you manage to hide so well.
while i begin to emerge beneath the cracks.
the image of a troubled, twisted soul.

may god bless you with the courage to;
take the first step.
show me how you feel.
not to fear rejection.
be happy.

i just want you to be happy.
i just want to be happy.


i can emo like spiderman too.
urgh.
):

today i met lydia at vivo.
then we walked around.
she bought alot of things lor.
haha.
maybe not.
just 2 nice tops.from GAP and MNG.
(:

thanks for the present babe.

after that we went for a cable car ride.
damn fun.
its a happy thing.
((:
next time.

after that we took MRT to The Cathay to watch DOA.
the plot is LAME.
but the action and fighting is damn cool.
i mean the hot babes are EVEN better.
(:
oh and for the 1st time i sat at the couple seat.
its damn shiok la.
like a couch.
i recommend everyone to take couple seats when you go and watch a movie,
regardless of couple or not.

we saw the Grudge2 trailer.
omg freaking SCARY can.
wtf.
i got a shock and grabbed lyd.
then she keep laughing at me.
):

and we also saw the spiderman trailer.
the one where his costume is in black and white.
damn cool la.
an emo-spiderman.
((:

after that went J8 to chill.
thanks lyd for the great day.
i love you many many.
(:

Friday, October 27, 2006

my gawd.
ive developed a hacking cough.
crap.
it all started from shisha.
shoot.

im damn sick la.
im dying.
i should stop smoking.
puii.

heck.
play ball.
love love-

joa the bff is a lousy blogger.
opps.
but i still love you many many bff.

we baked cheesecake today.
yayness.
bff ta pao-ed prata house to my home for me.
i love bff.
then christina came.
then val came.
the cheesecake very nice.
(:

and we went for lesson late.
so we just hung around until it was break time before we went in.
and i accidentally kicked the fire extinguisher box.
damn loser la.

after that i accompanied christina to westmall to meet nat.
haha.
christina act cute.
and bites.
like doggy liddat.
((:

then i went to simei.
(((:
i met ner ner.
then we went simpang.
and...
cheesecake.
rotijohnking.
and...
(:

i went home.
mummy said to be home by 10.
i reached home at 12.30

tml gonna go vivo with lydia.
((:
cant wait.
(:

Thursday, October 26, 2006

joanna says hi to the world

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

well loud and annoying voice girl is apparently from st. margs.
and she appeared at KAP today.
my gawd.
lucky everyone else was noisier than her.
(:

ho.
and i bought the ready made crusts today.
cheesecake.
(:
you guys are in luck.

met joa today to study.
joa is bff.
and bff is best friend forever for those who are uninitiated.

we went to united square macs.
which is quite comfy.
but dont go there.
cos i wanna go there from now on.

there was this bunch of people studying for their Os next to us.
this particular girl was bad.
its one thing to be loud and another to have an annoying voice.
my gawd.

joa treated me to bakerinz cake.
yums.
(((:
i love my bff many many la.
we wanted to buy stuff to make cheesecake but i cant find the crust.
whats with the ready made crust which cant be found.
BAHH.
stupid cold storage.

theres this particular pen i wanna get at popular which i cant find anywhere la.
dumb.
alright.
i need to study for econs test tml.

thanks bff for the great day.
((:
your the best.
(((:

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

today is like the best day la.
ever.
(:

well tara shaw cancelled the econs lecture so i only had lessons from 9-10.30am.
whoot den me joa christina val and st went to wheelock for nydc lunch.
before that we chilled at starbucks.

then they paid for everything la.
im so touched.
and they forced me to choose a cake/mudpie/dessert.
and insisted on singing and having candles.
and tried to con me that they din get me a present.
well i nearly fell for it but like in the end they gave me a handmade card and a handmade pencil case.
(:

after that we hung around la.
and did stupid stuff like playing arcade and wasting money by playing gachapon.
but it was fun.
(:

thanks bff for accompanying me.
thank you leonard from coming all the way down to wish me happy birthday.

thank you for waiting patiently,
for walking with me when i had to walk bff to the bus stop,
even when you were damn hungry, skipped break and lunch so that you could have dinner with me,
and had 8 pieces of sushi only at like 6.30pm.
but was too paiseh to buy the last 5 on your own, lest people thought you were greedy
sorry i made you eat everything, though you wanted me to have 2 pieces.
(:

i had the nicest dinner ever.
at manhattan fish market (though i still prefer fish and co.)
well the food was not too bad.
but the company was (((:
thanks for the treat.

i din have to fork out a single cent today.
well mostly but i did so from time to time.
abit here and there.
cos i feel quite bad.
i feel very loved.
(((:

thank you everyone for wishing me happy birthday, regardless of the fact whether friendster did remind you or not.
i love all of you many many.
(:

Monday, October 23, 2006

on the 1045th post.
todays my birthday.
(:

happy birthday angie.
i keep insisting im twenteen not twenty.
i dohwan to be twenty.
sigh.
damn old.

(:

Sunday, October 22, 2006

yay yay.
we won we won.
(:

and i scored 8 points,
ladeedums.
im damn zai la.
(:

and we were at a disadvantage summore.
boo.
hehs.

im zai-ness.
i am the fucking goodest.
(:

Saturday, October 21, 2006

There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl.
This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl.
Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company,
his future didn't seem too bright, they were very happy together.
Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back.
She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them,
so they went their own ways there and then...

Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence,
he worked hard day and night,
slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself.
Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends,
this guy had set up his own company..
You never fail until you stop trying.
One rainy day, while this guy was driving,
he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination.
Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched.
It didn't take him long to realize they were his girl's parents.

With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple,
wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan.
He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same any more;
he had his own company, car, condo, etc.
He made it! What he saw next confused him, the couple was walking towards a
cemetery, and so he got out of his car and followed...

and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone
and hensaw his paper cranes right beside her...
Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened.
They explained she did not leave for Paris at all.
She was ill with cancer. She had believed that he will make it someday,
but she did not want to be his obstacle...
therefore she had chosen to leave him.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her,
because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again...
he can take some of those back with him...

Once you have loved, you will always love.
For what's in your mind may escape but what's in your heart will remain forever.
The guy just wept...

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside her knowing you can't have her,
see her or be with her ever again.

Hope you understand.
Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you,
for you might wake up one morning losing that person
who you thought meant nothing to you.

Love.

i think im sucha emofreak.
someone shoot me alr.
click-
bang-
-----------------------

i just came back from shisha.
well part of weekly escapism.
was supposed to go MoS by mag's invitation.
but it was too troublesome.
and i was too tired.

and i miss you.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

i want my weekly dose of escapism.
boo.

oh and my birthday is coming.
the one where for the next 10 years my age will start with a 2.
i just wanna be forever 19.
sigh.

sucks doesnt it.boo.
why do i even want you so bad?

im glad i din fail PSY 101
i hope the same goes for UGC 111

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

hmm i went for training today,
despite the sucky psi.
hehs.
i swear SIM basketball is damn cool la.
as in the girls.
(:

i love them very very much.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

do you still remember the toy you used to play as a kid.
the one where you had to match blocks of different shapes to the holes which had that shape if not the blocks would not go through?
well now my heart feels like someone is just shoving it through some random shape which wont fit.
and its jarring.
and well,
it just hurts.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

its really very tiring.
sigh.

i hope that there will be an end to this soon.
very soon.

maybe the outcome doesnt matter anymore.
i just want it to end.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

went to watch basketball match today with jasminelu xuan and his brother.
his brother is damn cute la.
lame-ness does run in the family.

hur.
training tml.
i hope everything goes well,
i really dont wanna play competitive.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

yesterday was priyanka's birthday celebration at OBar.
but i left halfway,
actually i left at the start to go to MoS with debb.

clubbing with debb is always the best.
and the funnest.
(:
huiqian and her friends came later.

whoot i have received my alternate escape for the week.
(:

i love debb.
wo ting ni.
(:

Saturday, October 07, 2006

how can attempted suicide be a crime,
besides the fact that it wastes taxpayers' money.
stupid @!#$%$@!#

now the country also wants to control your life.

Friday, October 06, 2006

i think i have the most superficial problems in life.
but they affect me the most.
wth.

anyways i realised that i have not blogged properly,
or rather decent stuff in a long while.
theres really nothing much to life.
its either you just recount your daily happenings or you talk about social issues.
i dont really read the newspaper that much.
and my life is mundane.
i dont really have much to blog about.

my existence is somewhat, almost redundant.
haha.
i feel that im barely living.
so empty is the soul.

emo freak.


follow me when everything is alright
i'll be the one who tucks you in at night
and if you wanna leave i can guarantee
you will find nobody else like me.
thanks debb-
(:

whats a friday night without clubbing.
and _______.
hoho.
i dont really care.
my life is in ruins alr anyway.
you dont really care do you.
i hate it when people cant keep their promises.

hah.
debb rocks la.
peace out to you too, biatch.
love ya-

i figured
there are more important things in life than him

like basketball.

i gave the last of my ciggys to firdhaus.
but now i really want them back.

):

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

ya so much to sleeping well.
i dreamt that i died yesterday.
i got knocked down by a car.
the saddest part was that i died and i din even know i did.

ho.
maybe i should stop bitching about other people.
if not really get knocked down by a car.

Monday, October 02, 2006

went for the 1st SIM basketball team training session today.
omg la.
the people are zai.
im so happy.
but i dohwan to be a burden so...
i dont think i will join the competitive team.
im just looking for some place to play ball only.
(:

first time in such a long while that i actually feel great joy in playing basketball with girls against girls,
cause its all true skill.

i nearly missed my stop today.
im so tired.
i cried in my sleep.
i slept in econs simply due to exhaustion.
i dont have proper sleep anymore.

screwed up.
im thankful that im so tired from training that i cant think.
i hope to have a gd nights sleep after such a long while.

-

although im tired.
i dont really like to go to sleep nowadays.
im scared of falling asleep.

fitful slumber.
i keep drifting in and out of sleep.
sleeping is more tiring den being awake.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

i think im headed for self-destruction.
but it made me realize that everyone cares.

especially someone.

im thankful.
(: